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completed illustrations below - click to enlarge ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y ZThe politically incorrect alphabetNewsflash 2 Aug 2006: very heavy traffic has had me kicked off the old server and ticked off for breaking it. The forum will not be back until I get a replacement hosting service that will accept it. We're now holed up in a temporary location. Newsflash 12 Oct 2006: visitor no. 250,000 welcomed to the site (with a nice cup of tea and a biscuit). 11 Dec 2006: 500,000th page load, Bastille Day 2007: 750,000th. Newsflash 21 Nov 2006: new A-Z nav introduced and all the old forum posts added. Citations: 1 Aug 2006: i-am-bored.com (the one that broke the server) | 25 Aug 2006: B3ta newsletter (Fame at last!) | 31 Aug 2006: Yahoo Pick | 7 Sept 2006: About.com Funny site of the day | 7 Dec 2006: interview in .net |
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My wife is a teacher of young children, and I've spent a fair time of late sitting on undersized chairs admiring the alphabet charts on classroom walls. Typically 'A' will stand for Apple, 'B' for Ball. It occurred to me that 'I' for Indian, one I remember from my childhood, has been replaced as it is no longer politically correct to refer to native/first/indigenous Americans as Indians. Lacking any tact or decency, I therefore determined to create an alphabet using only subjects that, while they might have been unremarked a few decades ago, are now outside acceptable usage. But only just. And then it was my intention to illustrate these in a 'modern' style, something along the lines of Dick Bruna's Miffy (OK, Miffy is 50, but still looks fresh). You can see those I've completed already on this page. If you scroll down a bit you'll find links to pages with archived chit chat plus illustrations and more. Once I have a full set of illustrations* I'll... well, I don't quite know what I'll do. They'd make nice set of flash cards to give to new parents you'd like to offend, but with subtlety. Or a charming poster for your oh-so-knowing loft decor. T-shirts might beckon. That's a problem for later. *Since writing this, what constitutes a 'full set' has suffered from project creep. I'm no nearer making my fortune though. Your chance to contribute to the politically incorrect alphabetThe problem for now is coming up with sufficient subjects, and then illustrating them. Staring out of the window can only inspire me so far. After that I decided to ask for help. And so I set up a forum where you could make suggestions (which has just broken because it was too popular). Tasteful? Maybe not. Fun? I hope so. Completed illustrations suggested or inspired by forum visitors:Abortion, Adam, Bouncer, Camp, Candy, Cannibal, Catapult, Cherry, Cock, Coffin, Crumpet, Dolphin, Eve, Executioner, Faggot, Fairy, Fat, Flag, Frogman, Grill, Halloween, Hand grenade, Hitler, Horse, Hun, Islander, Ivory, Jew's Harp, Ku Klux Klan, Leaf, Lenin, Lion-flag, Mafia / Mobster, Manhole, Mao, Marketing, Menorah, Mine, Mushroom, Noose, Nurse, Oil, Old man, Old woman, Policeman, Pouffe, Prayer, Rhino, Rifle, Rubber, Salute, Sea Lion, Soldier, Spook, Spam, Stalin, Star, Steak, Stewardess, Swastika, Tart, Toadstool, Trophy, UFO, Union Jack, Vampire, Virgin, Voodoo, Whale, Yank, Y-fronts, Zombie, Zulu. Completed illustrations that I didn't need your help for (but I'm still very grateful):Angel, Arab, Ark, Arrow, Atom bomb, Atomic power, Axe, Beaver, Beer, Blackboard, Bomb, Boxer, Boxer-b, Boy, Bride, Burger, Butcher, Cane, Casino, Cigar, Cigarettes, Clown, Convict, Cripple, Cyberman, Dalek (eh?), Death, Dunce, Dwarf, Eggs, Elephant, Empire, Eskimo, Fireman, Fur, Ghost, Girl, Girl Guide, God, Golliwog, Groom, Gun, Gypsy, Hotdog, Housewife, Indian, Jesus, Jew, King, Knife, Lager, Lion, Lunatic, Match, Mermaid, Monkey, Muff, Native, Nun, Pig, Pills, Pipe, Poo, Pope, Prisoner, Queen, Razor, Razorblade, Satan, Scout, Skeleton, Stool, Tank, Tramp, Ugly, Underwear, Uniform, Vicar, Waitress, Whip, Wine, Witch, Yellow-man, Xmas. You can read archived comment on these cards plus completed illustrations by clicking on the names above. I've included these extra pages as a honey trap for search engines. For up-to-date discussion of these and other, as yet uncompleted suggestions we did have a forum, but we broke it.
Of course, this is all copyright material. Be legal, be nice, behave, be above all polite.
"What goes around comes around" (or is it the other way around?) - when my wife asked me for a cover design for alphabet books for her first year classes I had just the thing!
For Christmas 2005 I was given the Early Learning Centre's "farmer and wife" (thanks Josh), "ages 3-8 years, build your own farm adventure". Given that he's got his hand in his pocket and she's doing the work, it should be called "farmer and husband" if anything. She's a hottie too.
school-uniform.pdf - already coloured in;
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preparatory sketches FAQsThey're not all politically incorrect, why not?Sometimes it's subtle: 'Lion' looks OK at first glance, but remember animals in circuses are a PC no-no. Sometimes it's very subtle: 'Boy' makes no sense unless compared with 'Girl'. Sometimes it's arguable: 'Skeleton' has sound educational value, and is just a little scary, not unPC. And sometimes it's just because I wanted to draw the picture. The comments on an illustration on the archived chat pages (down a bit to the left) will probably let you know.
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new media design | The politically incorrect alphabet ©2005-2008 Mark Jones. |