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the politically incorrect alphabet

Fat

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Bouncer Burger
Fur Hotdog
Yank - man Yank - woman
Fat

grampy
Posted on: 31 October 2005, 2:46pm

I think the term now is "Morbidly Obese" ...which actually offends me more than "Fat" ever did.

The Headmaster
Posted on: 31 October 2005, 3:04pm

I'd considered this one earlier, don't know why I passed - it's a valid suggestion. I'll put it on my 'to do' list.

The Headmaster
Posted on: 1 November 2005, 12:09pm

Fat boy is now up, with porcine nose and eyes, mouth and waistband agape, clutching the tools of his trade in his chubby hands. His parents have twice cursed him by also passing on the genes for red hair. You could write him a little back story like the ones for porcelain dolls* sold in monthly installments to old women who smell of wee: 'Ginger Tom (known as 'Piggy') was relentlessly bullied at school and ate through his tears. He eventually finds fulfillment in his job as prison guard, which gives him the chance to renew his aquaintance with former classmates'.

*Prime examples of these can be found on the Catholic School Girl Doll pages of the site I found during nun research - www.blessings-catalog.com - which tiptoes round racial sensitivities with the finesse of people who write 'green-eyed' in their lonely hearts ads:

Danielle loves wearing her navy blue pinafore-topper jumper with its knife-pleated skirt; the uniform always makes her feel as if she is about to embark on an adventure. As her light-skinned fingers braid her blonde hair, her brown eyes smile back at her from the mirror in anticipation of today's adventure; world geography and fractions!

Or how about this warning to social services:

Daddy, seeing Elizabeth with her long auburn hair and soft brown eyes, dressed in her uniform which consists of a gray drop-waist skirt with matching neck ribbon, crisp white blouse and gold cross suspended from a gold chain, is amazed at how much his little girl has grown to look just like her mother.

Put the girl on the at-risk register now!

The text on this page is archived from The Politically Incorrect Alphabet Forum - which unfortunately broke on August 2nd 2006 through overuse. A list of completed un-PC illustrations and their archived threads can be found here.

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