the politically incorrect alphabet

Blank card


Pig, Pills, Pipe, Policeman, Poo, Pope, Pouffe, Prayer, Prisoner

illustrated threads linked above, unillustrated suggestions listed below…



Very politically incorrect.

The Headmaster

I'm wondering whether you've read the 'Rules for Posting'?

I can't imagine 'Paedophile' ever having been considered a suitable subject for an alphabet chart on a classroom wall. There were some at the front of the class, certainly, but they went by the name of 'Sir'.

Pentacle / Pentagram


I know you already have a Witch, but I thought this one would be cool too.


Posted on: 3 November 2005, 11:11pm

Not quite as dramatic as the gallows, but perhaps worth consideration.

Pillow biter


P is for pillow biting and ass piracy!

(To be perfectly honest, I'm not like this, but I would love to see the illustration. I'm gay, myself.)





Posted on: 17 October 2005, 8:51am

Pirates used to live in the olden days, when the earth was flat.

Posted on: 25 April 2006, 1:17pm

They were pretty damn inpolitically correct, what with the ship's pu$$ies, the rogering of cabin boys and all that raping and pillaging.

What's more, they had a cool flag... though do we think the name 'jolly roger' has anything to do with aforementioned cabin boys? Hmmmm....


Posted on: 25 April 2006, 1:18pm
Lovely dogs, unnessecarily banned.... might be nice to have one savaging a small child?

The Lawyer
Posted on: 2 May 2006, 12:56pm

Seen from behind. All bollocks and slaver.

Or rogering soft furnishings. We had friends who had one of these objectionabl animals. I said "had" because we never visited again. Perhaps the dog is dead now and it would be safe to visit again (if you are reading this Alan).

Pol Pot

slinka & yoyo
Posted on: 22 July 2006, 1:20am

how about pol pot

The Headmaster
Posted on: 22 July 2006, 9:08am

Pol Pot isn't as instantly recognisable as Hitler, Stalin, Mao and Lenin - could you pick him out from a crowd?

Henry Kissinger can be credited with causing as many deaths in Cambodia as did Pol Pot (using CIA figures), plus without his destabilisation of the country Pol Pot's Khmer Rouge might not have toppled the monarchy. Plus we know what Henry looks like...





James Wiedner
Emailed on: 12 July 2007, 7:47pm

i don't know if you're still taking suggestions, but i think "pregnant" has some possibilities...

The Headmaster
Added on: 13 July 2007

Yes thank you, I'm still welcoming suggestions, still adding cards when I get the chance ('God' and 'Ugly' are new this week). The forum may be down but I note emailed suggestions in the index pages.

'Pregnant' is more one of those words which used to be unmentionable but now isn't: pregnancy in the mid C20th was spoken of in the same circumlocutional manner that we now reserve for thrush, but we're more upfront about it now. So I wouldn't say it was un-PC. Plus we already have 'virgin' carrying the load.


The Eager Young Lad
Posted on: 22 October 2005, 10:35pm

A member of family once said: "When I grow up, I want to be a princess or a fairy." It's another cliched gender role, in the manner of policeman or soldier.

Fairy Princess
Posted on: 13 November 2005, 5:58pm

I have updated this to be both. That way I get a tiny little crown too. And nicer dresses.


The Headmaster
Posted on: 24 February 2006, 2:00pm

Not 'The' Prophet, Muhammad/Mohammed, of course, because that would be unwise. When some people are determined to be deeply offended (and others are careless as to who they offend) it's perhaps sensible to step to one side. But there are numerous other prophets in the Qur'an/Koran - Ibrahim/Abraham, Musa/Moses and Isa/Jesus will be familiar to many people outside of Islam - and I don't think that depicting them will bring down a fatwa on my head*.

Or how about we have an exclusively 'biblical' character (from Amos to Zephaniah there are plenty more to choose from**)? Standing with the light behind him, holding forth and also a book?

* Let me know if I'm mistaken!

**Like some modern advisors, they didn't necessarily offer a variety of perspectives:
1 Kings 22:6 (New Living Bible Translation)

So King Ahab summoned his prophets, about four hundred of them, and asked them, "Should I go to war against Ramoth-gilead or not?" They all replied, "Go right ahead! The Lord will give you a glorious victory!"

King Ahab was fatally wounded. President Junior still looks annoyingly chipper.


The Policeman
Posted on: 4 May 2006, 9:16am

P for Prostitute.... or perhaps W for Whore?

The Headmaster
Posted on: 21 May 2006, 1:42pm

A hooker or whore, a trollop or tart, is never likely to have been seen on classroom walls - except perhaps for Mary of Bethany, the woman who washed Jesus's feet (sometimes identified as Mary Magdalene). So, strictly speaking, it doesn't satisfy my entry requirements, though these are laxly applied so there's always a chance.

There's a (possibly apocryphal) story concerning Margot Asquith, a grande dame of early C20th British society. The American actress Jean Harlow, when introduced to her, mispronounced her first name. "No" said the countess, "the 't' is silent, as in 'Harlow'".


Posted on: 25 April 2006, 1:27pm

because they really ain't that punk any more, are they?

The Headmaster
Posted on: 26 April 2006, 7:45pm

I'm with you on the punks: Punk's having it's 30th birthday this year, happy birthday to you. For some perspective, travel 30 years before punk and you're before the mods and rockers, before the teddy boys, and way back in the swing era struggling wearily out of WWII. I think we can move on now...


The Headmaster
Posted on: 9 November 2005, 12:21pm

That's it, I'm probably banned by Net Nanny now. Your affectionate name for your cat Tiddles has acquired a secondary meaning*.

The programmers of this open source forum supply the wherewithal for the admin (me) to censor certain words in the forum posts, and the default setting includes some words that they deem suitable for alteration. So 'Dick Bruna' becomes 'private Bruna', joining the army along with privates Turpin, Tracy, van Dyke et al. As does our little Kitty.

* Probably because cat fur was once used to fashion merkins. The same association occurs in French - I once saw an ad in The International Herald Tribune promoting the Moulin Rouge which was all in decent, respectable English apart from the one line "Les plus belles chattes du monde".

The text on this page is archived from The Politically Incorrect Alphabet Forum - which unfortunately broke on August 2nd 2006 through overuse. A list of completed un-PC illustrations and their archived threads can be found here.

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