the politically incorrect alphabet



Noose Prisoner

The Eager Young Lad
Posted on: 19 October 2005, 9:54pm

Another of those marvellous archetypical professions. Big black hat with shiny star, blue coat with silver buttons, truncheon waved merrily in hand. Students love them!

Fairy Princess
Posted on: 13 November 2005, 5:59pm

I thought you already had a picture for "pig"?

The Headmaster
Posted on: 24 November 2005, 10:10am

Or he could go under 'C' - for 'Constable'. There's the possibility there might be some misunderstanding though.

The Lawyer
Posted on: 3 December 2005, 2:44pm

Again, sorry to be pedantic and, well, lawyerly, but they are called Police Officers these days, and the picture would not lead to a non PC word or phrase. cf Fireman/ Fire fighter.

The Headmaster
Posted on: 25 May 2006, 1:53pm

In the 1960's the Ladybird book series 'People at Work' included such titles as 'The Policeman' and 'The Fireman', not 'The Police Officer' or 'The Firefighter'. 'P' stood for Policeman, and anything now reinforcing such a stereotype might be considered politically incorrect. There were some policewomen though: "there are over 200 policewomen in the country" the book revealed. The only woman worker in the series is, predictably, the Nurse (unless there are female shop assistants working "In a Big Store"). I'd have thought they'd have included some women doing "light repetitive work" at least.

'People at Work'; 'A Much Better Start In Life'.

The Headmaster
Posted on: 27 June 2006, 3:46pm

Patience is rewarded: PC Plod is at last on his way to greet you with a friendly clip round the ear. The British Bobby's equipment and uniform combine potent symbols of male and female fertility - the rigid truncheon, the blue tit on his head* - and so it is traditionally considered good luck to spill blood on them.

*Not to mention the c••• underneath it.

And on a second thread…

Riot Cop / Riot Police

The School Bully
Posted on: 3 April 2006, 10:22am

I'm don't know if this is quite what you're after, but what about one of these friendly neighbourhood peace-keepers? I saw about 20 stood around for no reason at Coventry station, in their helmets and body armour, wielding truncheons, and puffing out their chests, and wondered if they would be suitable for your frieze.

The School Bully
Posted on: 16 May 2006, 11:48am

To follow up on this, I am told by a friend of mine who attends demonstrations that what we term 'riot van' has been renamed a 'Large Community Policing Vehicle'. There must be a similar term for the police themselves, but he's not sure what it is.

The Headmaster
Posted on: 30 June 2006, 8:52am

Evening all.

I've included a traditional beat bobby - more in keeping with the flavour of the cards.

Mind how you go.

The School Bully
Posted on: 30 June 2006, 10:38am

Yeah, that's good. The expression on his face makes him look like he's shouting, and the face itself has got a distinct piggy quality - round with two nostrils which almost form a snout. Was that intentional?

The Headmaster
Posted on: 30 June 2006, 12:33pm

The porcine appearance of the snout on PC Plod was accidental officer, just as Chief Clancy Wiggum's upturned nose (of 'The Simpsons' fame) is also no doubt devoid of secondary meaning.

The School Bully
Posted on: 3 July 2006, 8:41am

That coat of his does also look not unlike riot gear. Or maybe, like the bouncer, he has a beergut to suit his porcine nose.

The Headmaster
Posted on: 3 July 2006, 10:40am

I spent yesterday afternoon outside my local, sitting in the sun, and the following conversation at my table was worth keeping. A man in his late 30s, ex-squaddie by the look of him, is chatting with his flat mate...

"...she was coming round so I had to clear up all the hooky DVDs - well she is a police officer after all. Last night I was with her and there's this banging on the door..." "Round at the flat?" "No, this was at her place, anyway, she says 'Don't worry, it's my husband, he's just a big bully', quite spoilt the moment. I was on top of her in the front room. I was OK until she said 'he's just a big bully'. Then she tells me he's head of the armed response unit. I didn't even know she was married - I was for sneaking out the back window right then..."

And later, when they're discussing moving from their flat: "Yeah, it is too small. I'm not used to living in something so small, well, obviously, when I was in prison and that..."

Then a bare chested guy in multicoloured shorts and inline skates swoops up and greets his friends at the next table. One of them prompts him "Tell them what happened to you yesterday" "I got stopped by two lady coppers" points up the road "I was wearing a G-string and a cowboy hat and the skates..." "One way to pull isn't it?" "...and they said 'You can't go round like that mate!' and I said 'Well they do in LA' and they said 'Well this isn't LA' and took me home. Silver sparkly thing it was, I've been watching, whatchamacallit, Jackass."

Later at the same table, the nurses tale - see under Nurse.

The text on this page is archived from The Politically Incorrect Alphabet Forum - which unfortunately broke on August 2nd 2006 through overuse. A list of completed un-PC illustrations and their archived threads can be found here.

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