the politically incorrect alphabet

Blank card


Tampon, Tank, Tart, Toadstool, Tramp, Trophy

illustrated threads linked above, unillustrated suggestions listed below…


Jonathan Katz
Emailed on 10 June 2007

You have Dalek and Cyberman. Sheesh! That would mean breaking out the blue crayon.

The Headmaster
Added on: 11 May 2007

Alas, no blue crayon. And come now, even I can't invent a justification for including the TARDIS in this alphabet.


PC Thug

I know I like to dip mine at least three times a day.

The Headmaster

"What goes in dry, comes out wet and satisfies two people?" Yes, the authentic riddle of the sphinx... nevermind that 4 legs 2 legs 3 legs rubbish.

In the Wikipedia national sterotypes page* it claimed that we Brits drink tea all the time and eat crumpets, which would be offensive if it weren't absolutely true (I must be on at least my 6th mug of tea today, one an hour is not unusual until the beer takes over). 'Crumpet' is going into the alphabet when I have a moment, 'Teabag'** however has no shadow of unPCness about it that I can see?

* Spotted by the School Bully at en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_stereotypes - though the crumpet reference has now been removed.

** Fairtrade of course.

PC Thug

It is a bit of a strech but it is as un PC as beaver or cock. Beaver is a perfectly innocent word to a child, as is www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=teabag.

The Headmaster

Every day you learn something new!


Posted on: 2 November 2005, 1:00pm

As in false teeth. I don't think mine wouldn't be so disgusting (if I needed them), but having to look at somebody else's choppers laying on the bedside table sends a little shiver up my back.

Off the subject, I did a little research on the net yesterday on the British/American language thing and was astounded at the number of words on the list. It's amazing that we can even understand what the other person is saying.

The Headmaster
Posted on: 2 November 2005, 5:41pm

A friend of mine from long ago (Phyllis Merikallio, how are you doing?) was compiling a humourous Anglo-American dictionary, I provided her with the translation Bollocks = Nuts: as both nouns and emphatics they have similar weight and meaning.

Back on subject, hmm, teeth. Has an 'ick' factor and may well have been used in the past. Not sure if it's specifically non-PC. I'll consider while I fill in some other gaps.

The Headmaster
Posted on: 3 November 2005, 12:20am

As a little addendum... to the tune of "You say Poe-Tay-Toe, I say Padada", the following has occurred to me

(I've put in little asterisks for vowels, because who knows, we might get picked up by Google and I'd hate to lose the chance to corrupt minors by being banned by Net Nanny):

UK Sl*t = US Tr*mp - u & a
UK Tr*mp = US B*m - a & u
UK B*m = US F*nny - u & a
UK F*nny = US P*ssy - a & u
UK P*ssy = US K*tty - u & i
UK K*tty = US errr...

OK, so you Yanks call the money you put in a common fund a K*tty as well. I was on a roll there though wasn't I? I'll send a packet of ginger biscuits to the person who can do better. Honestly, I will. I'll need your name and address though.


Posted on: 3 May 2006, 12:27pm

....or is it freedom fighter? Currently, Irish terrorists out of fashion, or have gone into government. Suppose it's got to be Islamic?

The Policeman
Posted on: 4 May 2006, 9:14am

I think most people would identify with a Terrorist of Middle Eastern appearance.


The Headmaster

Thatcher Thatcher, Milk Snatcher.

Say what you like about her (no, really, do - I won't edit it). Although Margaret's marbles have long since joined those of her old bosum buddy Ronald Reagan her corpse lives on. She gave us the 80s. Or rather, stole the 80s and gave it to big business, armed only with her handbag and "the eyes of Caligula and the mouth of Marilyn Monroe".

"There is no such thing as society", "We are a grandmother", "Everyone should have a Willy". How can we forget her? Suggestions please.

Not politically incorrect in the correct sense, but to all other senses unacceptable.

See also comment under Empire.


The Headmaster
Posted on: 16 October 2005, 7:05pm

Just the skin, of course. See also elephant, lion, zebra - a bit too much duplication here.


Doggie Dogue
Posted on: 19 April 2006, 3:49pm

You could illustrate Tourette's with an angelic figure shouting Cnut. (Or would this show dyslexia?)

Tranny (Transistor Radio)


I thought you could give the word tranny through the form of a transistor radio. It first occured to me when my grandfather said that his tranny wasnt working.

Trophy wife


Trophy wife?

The text on this page is archived from The Politically Incorrect Alphabet Forum - which unfortunately broke on August 2nd 2006 through overuse. A list of completed un-PC illustrations and their archived threads can be found here.

  new media design The politically incorrect alphabet™ ©2005-2008 Mark Jones