enile.co.uk
the politically incorrect alphabet

Boy in school uniform
Boy in vest and pants Boy in shirt and socks
Boy in shorts and tie Boy in shoes and pullover

Girl in school uniform
Girl in vest and panties Girl in school knickers
Girl in school blous Girl in gym slip

School uniform dress-up game - colour
School uniform dress-up game - line

Click on the colour or line dress-up card to get your own printable school uniform dress-up games (pdf format).
One is already coloured in.
The other isn't.

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


Bouncer Bride
Clown Convict
Executioner Fireman
Girl Guide Groom
Hitler Hun
Ku Klux Klan Mao
Monkey Nun
Nurse Policeman
Pope Prisoner
Salute Boy Scout
Soldier Stalin
Stewardess Vicar
Waitress
Uniform

The Headmaster
Posted on: 28 May 2006, 2:34pm

Uniforms are often seen as being politically incorrect as their purpose is seen to be to stifle oh so sacred individuality. Moreover the wearer of a uniform might 'hide behind it' and commit heinous acts they might otherwise not contemplate. They are therefore often connected with oppressive regimes such as the fascists of Italy and Germany, the Red Guards of the cultural revolution in China or the franchises of McDonalds worldwide.

For this alphabet I think a classic school uniform might suffice?

The Headmaster
Posted on: 30 May 2006, 1:17pm

Mrs W-J complains that school uniforms are not politically incorrect. We have come full circle - parents formed in the 60s saw uniforms as emblems of submission to authority, whereas now parents see them as a means of avoiding the dictatorship of label elitism which rules in schools where pupils are freed from official strictures and so bind themselves instead with those of their peers, often just as arbitrary and constrictive. See also marketing.

Now illustrated, the regulation school uniform, as modelled by Unwin and Una, who you may remember as our underwear models. All items are available from the school outfitters Phealup and Bung.

I'm tempted to do an animation, but that might be very wrong. Maybe even very, very wrong. Instead I'll put together one of those 'colour in, cut out and dress' sheets for you - coming soon (and maybe even just as wrong).

BOYS' REGULATION SCHOOL UNIFORM:

  • White vest and Y-front pants.
  • Grey knee length socks.
  • White or pale grey long sleeved shirt: in summer, shirts may be worn without a tie and with sleeves rolled up JUST above the elbows with a width of between 2 1/4" and 2 3/4" but ONLY when shirt sleeve order has been officially announced.
  • Regulation charcoal grey short trousers (Prefects may wear long trousers).
  • House tie (House Prefects and School Prefects wear House Prefect and School Prefect ties respectively).
  • Black or brown sensible shoes, to be kept clean and polished AT ALL TIMES.
  • School blazer with badge securely attached.
  • A regulation pullover may be worn on cold days UNDER the blazer NOT IN PLACE OF.
  • Prefects may wear waistcoats with all buttons save for the bottom button fastened: THIS PRIVILEDGE MAY BE WITHDRAWN IF ABUSED.
  • The school cap with badge must be worn AT ALL TIMES.
  • Hair must be short, clean and OFF THE COLLAR. The school is the final arbiter of what constitutes an acceptable hairstyle.

GIRLS' REGULATION SCHOOL UNIFORM:

  • White vest and panties.
  • White ankle length socks (in extreme weather thick black woollen tights may be worn when authorised).
  • Dark grey school knickers.
  • Juniors: white school blouse and regulation gymslip in house colours.
  • Blouses must NOT be worn unbuttoned at the collar UNLESS summer uniform order has been announced in which event the TOP TWO buttons ONLY may be unbuttoned.
  • Seniors: white school shirt/blouse and house tie, pleated dark grey skirt. Girls may wear a brassiere in a white sensible style, if Matron agrees they need one, which SHOULD NOT be visible through their clothing.
  • Skirts must extend 2" below the knee.
  • Black or brown low-heeled sensible shoes.
  • School blazer with badge securely attached.
  • Regulation straw hat with ribbon in school colours NOT LESS than 1 5/8" and NOT MORE than 1 7/8" wide (Prefects are permitted to wear the regulation school boater).
  • Hair must be clean and well kept, long hair must be tied back away from face.
  • NO JEWELLERY MAY BE WORN.
  • MAKE-UP AND NAIL POLISH WILL NOT BE TOLERATED.

ALL PUPILS:

  • Regulation school uniform must be worn in school, on the journey to and from school, when travelling to away matches and at all special school functions.
  • Blazers may be removed, in class, with the permission of the teacher.
  • Coat (non-compulsory item): Plain navy raincoat WITHOUT excess straps or buckles or plain navy duffel coat.
  • Scarf (non-compulsory item): The house scarf may be worn OUTSIDE, Prefects may wear the School scarf.
  • All articles must be clearly and securely marked with the owner's name.
  • All clothing to be clean and well maintained.
Blackboard Cane Dunce

Pupils failing to fully comply with these regulations may be sent home and house points deducted, depending on the severity of the offence.

For Games and PE kit see the relevant volume of regulations.

The Headmaster
Posted on: 2 June 2006, 4:55pm

Printable cut-out dress-up school uniform sheets are now ready to download. There's one already coloured in, and one you can colour yourself! Glue them to thin card from an empty cereal packet then cut out carefully along the lines. Have lots of fun dressing and undressing Unwin and Una with their splendid new school uniforms!

school-uniform.pdf - already coloured in;
school-uniform-line.pdf - waiting for you to colour it in yourself!

If you enjoyed dressing up Unwin and Una, you can also dress up the Bride and Groom

The text on this page is archived from The Politically Incorrect Alphabet Forum - which unfortunately broke on August 2nd 2006 through overuse. A list of completed un-PC illustrations and their archived threads can be found here.

  new media design The politically incorrect alphabet™ ©2005-2008 Mark Jones